My Precious Mother

I know I use the term "Blessed" often, but that is actually how I feel. I would use the term "lucky" but that just doesn't seem appropriate. It is not giving God the acknowledgement of how I feel for all he has given me. I would have to say that all my "Blessings" began with my Mom and Dad. I had the world's best parents. Unfortunately, I say had because my precious mother passed away five years ago April. She was such a special person. She went through her live with so much pain, but she always had a smile on her face. Don't get me wrong, she had her days, but they were few. And, as we got older and her children grew and had children of their own, all she would have to see was one of her grandchildren or great grandchildren and all the pain and sadness she may have had that day would just leave her face. She would glow. Family meant everything to her.
Mom had problems with her back and soon one surgery seemed to lead to another. She even had a body cast at one point. She was hospitalized many times, some out of state to specialized hospitals. She had come close to losing her life after blood clots, but again our prayers were answered and she pulled through. Another precious Miracle.
The last moments of her life were spent in the hospital. One complication after another led her to having pulmonary fibrosis and her lungs failed her. Knowing how much the Rosary meant to Mom, we would stand around her bed and prayer the Rosary. Even some of her grandchildren who had never said it before joined in. It was an amazing thing to see all generations of the family together and praying the way Mom had always prayed. There was a moment that I will never forget when she was on a respiratory and the family had been talking to the doctors about sending her home with hospice. We knew she wanted to be home. Without our knowing it, one of the physicians went in to Mom's room and explained to her that she was terminal. Mom was not aware that she was. She had been medicated with the respirator and the full extent of her condition was not even realized until she was admitted. It was a shock to all of us. It was really scary how much she deteriorated and how quickly. Anyway, I saw the doctor at the nurse's station and he made the comment that he had gone in and spoken with Mom, telling her about her prognosis and hospice. I was devastated. The nurses knew that I was upset and let me go in to see her (even though it was not visiting hours in the Intensive Care Unit). The rest of the family had gone downstairs to get something to eat, so I went in by myself. Since Mom had the respiratory and could not speak, we had given her a dry erase board with the letters of the alphabet written on it so she could spell out what she wanted to say. Mom looked at me and pointed out the letters t-e-r-m-i-n-a-l. My heart fell. I didn't know what to say. I just hugged her and told her how much we loved her and that we were there for her. I told her we were trying to get her home and arrangements were being made. The look in her eyes will be with me forever. My daughter Katie and her partner Magan are both Unit Nurses. Magan happened to be one of Mom's nurses at the time. They both explained to me that with all the medication Mom was on, that she would not remember what the doctor had said once she went to sleep again. I still pray that is how it was. The thought that she was told with no loved ones at her side and so unexpected to this day breaks my heart. I know that she did understand still after that to some point because she wanted to see our family Priest, Father Mullins. He had been a part of our family history for so long. He came in to see her and after he left she explained that she was no longer scared. It is amazing the peace that God can give!!! God is now holding Mom in his loving arms and has taken all the pain away. I still miss her so much. I just hope that I can continue with her love of God and family and spread that love to all who will listen.

Mom and Dad Early Years


Mom and Dad June 2006