Prayers Answered.....Again

Once again, God has shown his love for me. Monday afternoon I had an episode of severe chest discomfort and shortness of breath that lead me to believe I was having a heart attack. I felt I was about to pass out and was breaking out in a cold sweat. I had never had an episode to be that bad. My dad was home with me and I could see in his face how scared he was too. He ended up calling 911 and I was taken to the hospital. Because of my history of heart problems, it was felt that I was overdue for a heart cath. So much was going through my mind....the fact that I had previously had a stroke after my last surgery because of plague breaking loose and going to my brain, that I had been told in the past that I could not go through another heart surgery, a previous doctor telling me that I would end up needing a transplant. I had so much fear, I can't put it into words. The love of my family gave me a peace that I could get through it. They understood my fear and stood by me. I felt so much love from my family....from my Husband, my Daughter, my Dad to my sisters, brother, neices, nephews, even my great neice and nephew. We had a family reunion at the hospital and they were there for me. I can't believe how Blessed I am to have so many people who love me.

Odds were not in my favor with my history for the cath to be good, but, who needs odds when you have Faith. I had so many people praying for me and once again, God answered our prayers. My cath turned out be very good. The previous grafts that had been done were flowing great. The doctor seemed to be surprised at well they were doing. Other vessels were also good and my heart was functioning normal. My heart was good!!!The only way I could get a report like this is through the wondrous work of God. How wonderful is that! It is felt that I was having spasms that were mimicing a heart attack which in turn caused the other symptoms.

I hope that I can someday make my family understand how much it meant to me to have them all with me. It reminded me again of how Blessed I be part of this great family.

I also have to mention what fantastic care I got at the hospital. Everyone from the techs, the nurses, the doctor. They all made me feel at ease and were very understanding of my fears.

Thank you God, for answering my prayers and giving more time to spend with the greatest Blessings you have given me, my life and family.

God's Plan

God has a plan. We don't always get to see his plan, but there are times when we do. For the first several years of our marriage, Kenny and I lived in several different apartments. Even after Katie was born, we lived in a couple of different apartments. It was a joke around the family because we seemed to move every year or so. We wanted to buy a home, but were not able to save up enough money for a down payment. After talking with my parents, we decided that we would move in with them for a couple of months and save up some money. Mom and Dad lived in a house that they had purchased brand new a little over 30 years prior. The neighborhood had gotten real bad and we wanted to get them out of it, but they didn't think they could make the change and afford a new home. One day, totally unexpected, my husband came to me and made the suggestion that we help my parents sell their house, get them out of the neighborhood and purchase a new home together. Another factor was that Mom's health was not real good and Kenny knew that I would be at their house helping frequently if we were not together. Now, the idea of living with my parents was not something that I thought was unusual, because my grandmother, Mom's mother, lived with us for as long as I could remember. So joining families seemed like a normal thing to do. What I wasn't sure about was the fact that my husband is a very private person. I was not sure how he would deal with it. But, he was very adamant that he would be fine and he felt it was a good idea. The next step was to talk to my parents. I really didn't know how they would feel about the idea either. After discussing, we all agreed that it was a good idea. So the move began. We started looking for a house while selling theirs. Everything was going well. We found the house all loved and their house sold.

We moved into our new house and everything was going well. Then, Dad started having some problems and ended up having a colonoscopy that showed he had colon cancer. It was a shock to all of us. He ended up having surgery where they had to remove part of his colon and had to go through chemotherapy and radiation. Six months of treatment. Then he started having blockages that would cause him to have severe abdominal pain and extreme projectile vomiting. Every couple of weeks he would have a spell. He would start to gain weight and then having another spell. He ended up having 3 more surgeries where they would remove a little bit more of his colon. He ended up having 1/3 of his large intestine removed. Slowly, after his surgeries and numerous hospitalizations, the spells were get further and further apart. It has not been over a year since his last one.

Three years after we moved into our new home, I started having my cardiac issues. After each of my surgeries, I would need to have assistance in many things. Especially after my last surgery. Kenny missed so much work while I was in the hospital, it was such a relief to him to know that I had someone to care for me when I got home. I don't know what we would have done if we were not living with Mom and Dad.

During all this time, Mom was still having her medical problems. She would have periods of time where she was bedridden. Towards the end of her life, she could not walk and had to use an electric scooter. She ended up being bedridden all the time.

It is so obvious to us that God's plan was for us to move in together. We needed to be together to take care of one another. He knew we would need each other and put us together. We could not see what the future held for us, but He knew. He is all-knowing. Thank you God, for Your wondrous plan.

I saw God Today!!

My mom always had a love of birds. My sisters and brother and I would always know what we could get mom for that "special" gift...something to do with birds. She had quite a collection of birds. My sweet, precious mother passed away in April of 2007. Needless to say, that was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. Mom has been with us in many ways since she passed and she has shown us that she will always be with us.
Our front door is set back with bilateral windows and brick walls on either side. On the left bricks, we have a hanging that was made up with 12 clay pots that are about 3-4 inches wide. Each pot had some type of flower planted in it, marigolds, petunias, and impatiens. We noticed doves that seemed to be staying around the front porch area and before we knew it, they had nested in one of the pots. That mother dove would sit in that little pot over her two eggs and did not get alarmed when someone would come and go from the front door. She even got to the point where she would let dad get close and even pet her. It was amazing. Soon the two eggs hatched and all three of them would live in that little pot. What a wonderful site to see. I could sit and watch them out of my front windows and get to see her when she fed them and cared for them. I would sit for hours and just watch them. I heard the song "I saw God Today" and I felt that was exactly how I felt. I had seen another one of God's Miracles. The day came that they left the nest and even though it was sad, we knew it was part of nature.
We enjoyed watching the doves so much and hoped that it would happen again. Dad even built a wood box that he called an apartment and hung it on the brick wall. Each nesting season since then, we have had a family move in. This year we were doubly blessed. I had a hanging basket on the front porch where the flower I had planted was dying. I was about to buy a new plant when we noticed a mockingbird coming and going to the pot. To our surprise, it was building a nest in the pot. This was closer than the other nests in that it was on the front porch. We could stand and watch out of the windows as the mother and father would bring twigs and such to build the nest.
Mama bird layed three eggs, but unfortunately only two hatched. But once again, we were able to watch as God worked His wonders. We watched as the babies grew and watched them fly away for the last time. Shortly after the mockingbirds had made their home on our porch, we noticed a mourning dove hanging around the "apartment" on the brick wall. Turned out she was building a nest too. The dove had layed two eggs. Mama bird was very vigilant as she protected the eggs. Unfortunately, however, something got to the nest one night and took the eggs. You could tell by the nest that something had gotten into it. We think it had to be a hawk or something because no cat or such creature could get to it where it is. I know things like that happen in nature, but it still was very sad.

My husband and I bought the house we are living in with my mother and father about 16 years ago. It was one of the best decisions we have ever made. However, it was only the last five years that the birds have started nesting at our front door. My mother passed away five years ago. The birds started coming the first nesting season after she passed. It is very clear to me and my family that she is sending these birds to us to show us she is still with us. I love you mom and miss you dearly. Thank you for your precious gifts. You are forever in my heart.

The Miracles of my Life

I had so many complications that I had to overcome. My kidneys had failed and my family was told that I would be on dialysis for the rest of my life. I had the stroke and had to relearn to do so many things again. I had to learn how to walk again and how to feed myself. I had all the heart issues. After my hospital stay in Birmingham, I was transferred to a rehab center here in town and was there for a few weeks.
Sometime after I came out of my coma, I heard the song "In the Arms of an Angel". It came out while I was in the coma, but I felt like I knew the song. I knew most of the words of the song. It turns out that while I was in the coma, my family played that song for me over and over.
My mom was a devout Catholic. Her faith was amazing. While I was in the hospital, she had the priest come in to see me many times. One time he had just returned from Lourdes, France and brought with him some of the blessed water from Lourdes. Mom said that he stated that he felt that this was a perfect time to use it and he blessed me with it. She said that it was within a few days after that that I started improving.
God has blessed me and shown His love for me throughout my entire life. My life is filled with His Miracles. He blessed me with the most wonderful parents anyone could ever have and then He used His Miracles to save them and keep them with us longer. Dad safe in Vietnam and Mom with her strength through her illness. He gave me 3 sisters and a brother who were all born healthy, whom we are all very close still and I love very much. I have the most amazing husband. He has been with me through so much. He takes care of me and believes in me. He is my strength. My precious daughter. Every child is miracle, but she is a miracle on top of a miracle. By the words of the physicians, she was so ill that her chances of living were low. God saved her for me. He gave me the best gift that filled my heart with more love than I could have ever imagined. And me....God saved me. Time after time, my body failed and God saved me. Physicians have told me that I had a prognosis of 3 years to live after my last hospitalization. My heart had too much damage. And if I had any further problems, my heart would not survive another surgery and I would have to have a heart transplant. That was 10 years ago this past January. I am one of God's Miracles. I don't know why He saved me...I am no one special. But, I am trying to live the way I think He would want me to...to show Him that I am thankful for his Love. I thank Him for each and every day He has given me. He has let me be with my family and that is the most important thing I could ask for.

God's light

I was scheduled and had my surgery on January 3, 2002. Once again, I had a triple bypass open heart. The cardiac surgeon came out and told my family that the surgery had gone well, but he also stated that he could not even tell that the second surgery had been done. So much for new procedures. He did not like giving medication to make his patient to wake up after surgery, he felt that it was better if they came out on their own. My family was staying across the street from the hospital in a townhouse that was for patient's families. Kenny said that he received a call very early in the AM stating that he needed to come to the hospital because I was not waking up from the surgery. A CT was done and it was discovered that I had had a stroke. The popping that I felt after the heart cath was something breaking loose and causing the stroke. This was the start of a long process that no one could have even imagined. There were many complications. I ended up in a coma for about 6 weeks. Evidentally, I swelled up so much from medications, my family said you couldn't even see my ears. I was in UAB for close to 3 months.
I don't remember a lot of my hospitalization. There are bits and pieces, like after waking up from my coma and still being in the unit, I can see Cindy, my nurse, sitting outside my room and me watching the clock waiting for visiting hours. I was still in the cardiac care unit, so visitation was limited. The only problem was I didn't know if it was AM or PM so I just watched the clock. I remember, since I had the stroke and since I was in a coma, that I had to learn how to do simple things, like hold a fork or spoon. I remember having the spoon taped to my hand and me trying to raise my hand with something in the spoon. It was so hard! Or the time that I was to get weighed and because I couldn't move, a lift of some sort was used to lift me up off the bed so they could put a scale under me. Something went wrong and they dropped me upside down in the bed. That is a fear that you cannot describe, being dropped face down and you not being able to move or raise yourself up. When my family came in and I told them what happened, needless to say I was not left alone with any nurse or tech without a family member being there.
There are other memories, most come and go. Everyone says it is a good thing that I don't remember everything. Sometimes I wish I could remember more because when they are talking about different things that happen, I feel like they are talking about someone else or a TV show or something. That is 3 months of my life that don't seem to exist.
There is a vivid memory though...one I did talk about to many people, but I have recently felt a strong need to share. My daughter Katie was either about to turn 15 or had just turned 16 (since I don't know when this happened and she turned 16 while I was in the hospital). I had what I call a vision simply because I don't know what to call it. I have heard of others who have stated that they had died and been brought back and saw a light or loved ones coming to greet them and I will honestly say that I was not sure I believed them. That is no longer the case. I don't know exactly what point this happened and since I was intubated and could not speak a good part of the time, I could not tell my family so they do not know either. I remember a light...a beautiful white light. It was like no other light I had seen. It was all I could see. There were no boundries, I was surrounded by it. The light was not a white you would see looking directly into a lightbulb. It was the purest light you could imagine. I did not see any loved ones coming to greet me, but I think it is because God sent me back before that happened. I just remember crying and saying "not now, I have a 16 year old daughter who needs me". I remember that very clearly. I asked my husband if he knew when that might have happened. He stated he did not know that, but when they were to take my breathing tube out, he was the only family member that was allowed in. He stated that the first thing I said was that I had seen a white light and I told them I couldn't go yet because I had a daughter. He stated that he looked up and the nurse had tears in her eyes.
My family was told that there had been many close calls while I was in the hospital and they said that there was a crash cart always nearby. But, we did not know how close. Kenny travels a lot with his job and had to go to Tampa. One of my favorite doctors had transferred to a hospital down there to head the department and Kenny went to see him. Kenny was surprised when he recognized him before he even said anything. The doctor told Kenny that I had coded and had to be brought back four times during my hospitalization. The only thing we don't know now is which time did I see the light.

The journey continues

I began having problems again. The shortness of breath and feeling of tightness in my chest we becoming more and more frequent. After many visits again, another stress test and heart cath, it was discovered that I would need another surgery. This time it would be a single bypass and the cardiologist wanted to do a new procedure where they actually went through the back to get to the heart. The surgery was done and everything seemed to be good. Within a couple of months, I was having problems again. They were even getting worse than they were before the second surgery. I made an appointment with my cardiologist, but when I got to the office, I ended up seeing the Physician's Assistant. He did not want to believe that I could be having problems already (it had only less than 3 months since my last surgery). I continued to have problems and thank goodness, my Family Physician believed that I was having symptoms and ordered another Stress Test which did come back with some abnormalities. Because of my history and the fact that I could not get my cardiologist to accept that I was having problems, my family physician felt that I needed to see another, more specialized physician. He referred me to a cardiologist at the UAB Medical Center that was a specialized cardiac surgeon. He fowarded my records and we waited for a call. This was right before Christmas. The physician at UAB called me and stated that he felt that I needed to be seen as soon as possible and since Christmas was soon (less than a week), he would schedule me for January 2nd. He scheduled me for surgery at that time, because he stated that looking at the results of my records and recent tests, that it was obvious that I required surgery. He also told me and my family that he would rather wait at least 6 months between surgeries to allow the body to heal, but that he did not feel that I would live long enough if I did not have the surgery. (My second surgery was in September). I would be having 3 open heart surgeries within a 2 year and 2 month period of time. The holidays came and went and on January 1, 2002, me, my husband Kenny and my mother and father made the trip to Birmingham to be admitted the next day.

A lot of what I will tell you about my hospital stay in Birmingham is based on what I have been told by family members. My memory of that time in my life is very little. I was admitted on January 2 and was scheduled for a heart cath that day. My husband states that when I came out of the procedure I told him that something was wrong....that I felt a pop in my head during the procedure. It would not be discovered until the next day and my surgery as to what exactly that was...........

My Life Changing Journey Begins

A time came when I started have some problems. I was having some shortness of breath and would have this tightening that I would describe as someone strapping a belt around my chest and gradually tightening more and more. During that time, I had an episode at work where I was having some pains in my chest that I could not describe, but they were uncomfortable and not normal. I worked in an OB/GYN office which happened to be attached to a hospital. Members of the staff took me by wheelchair to the Emergency Room where I was checked. The pains subsided and nothing was strikingly wrong with my tests but the ER physician wanted me to stay overnight for observation. I happened to be on an HMO at the time and my primary care physician happened to come into the Emergency Room and he stated he felt it was not necessary to stay and therefore, I was sent home. He referred me to a cardiologist whom I followed up with. I had several tests, one being a Cardiac Stress Test. The cardiologist came in during the test and looked at the results. He stated at the time that there was a "glitch" on the report that he felt was caused by my "generous breasts". Now.....I have never had large breasts, they are average to say the least. My thought at the time was "if I have generous breasts, I hate to see his wife". Anyway, he stated that he felt that the problems I was having was due to stress. I accepted his diagnosis and went home to continue as normal. I continued to have problems and had several follow up visits when he decided to do a cardiac cath because of the question on the stress test and one was scheduled. I remember being in the cath room and laying on the gurney. I remember being strapped to the bed and not being able to move. To this day, if I have any test or procedure done and have to be strapped down, I panic. I remember all the monitors that showed the doctor where the catheter was going. They gave me medication that was supposed to "relax me", but they did not seem to work. I could hear the staff talking and watched the screen. I could tell that something was wrong. After the procedure the doctor got my family together, my husband, mom and dad, and explained to them that I was going to have to have a triple bypass done because I had several blockages. I had my first triple bypass surgery at 39 years of age. The surgery went well and I recovered. Everything seemed to go well until I started having problems again. It was a little over 1-1/2 years since I had surgery.............